


Bumbling

by Misdemeanor1331



Series: The Complications of Two-Way Dating [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 20:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misdemeanor1331/pseuds/Misdemeanor1331
Summary: In response to her disastrous Tinder date with Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger creates an app of her own. And once again, Harry Potter becomes far more involved than he wants to be.





	Bumbling

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to everyone who read and reviewed "Tinder and Kindling." Thank you for your enthusiasm and laughter, and for inspiring this piece!
> 
> For all you fresh faces, please read "Tinder and Kindling" first, as this piece is its sequel. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Bumbling**

Harry Potter startled as a tight roll of parchment slapped onto his desk. The nib of his quill snapped, splattering ink over his fingers and across several inches of his freshly-written scroll. He glared up at the intruder: a fuming Draco Malfoy. 

“Do you know what this is?” Draco gestured to the scroll, which was helping to sop up the spill. 

“Ruined?” he answered scathingly. “How did you even get in here?” 

“ _This_ ,” Draco said, pointedly ignoring his question, “is a patent registered under the name of Hermione Jean Granger.” 

Harry sighed and removed his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “It’s nearly seventeen hundred hours on a Friday, Malfoy. I don’t have time for -” 

“A patent,” he continued, “for a _dating app_.” 

When Harry removed his fingers, he noticed smudges of blue. He sighed again and replaced his glasses, hoping it would hide the ink stains on his face. 

“A dating app called _Bumble_. Do you know how Bumble works, Potter?” 

He didn’t have a chance to guess. 

“You register for an account, and when you see a profile you like, you can swipe _right_ if you’re interested or _left_ if you’re not.” 

“And?” 

“It’s just like Tinder!” Draco exclaimed. “It’s infringement! It’s an outrage! It’s -” 

“Perfectly legal!” Hermione shouted, popping up from her chair two cubicles down. 

Harry groaned as Draco stalked away from his desk to confront her; after having a laugh at his expense, Ginny was going to kill him for being late for dinner. 

“I had my advocate check the patent, and my application is legally distinct from yours. I am well within my rights to market my app to any Two-Way Mirror customer I want.” 

“You’re pushing it, Granger,” Draco said with a growl. 

She cocked a hip on her desk and crossed her arms. “Afraid of a little competition, Draco? Nervous that the market might decide in my app’s favor?” 

“Your app can’t do one thing that mine can’t.” 

“And how would you know?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Have you tried it? Or are you not interested in a product that gives women more control in who they talk to or date?” 

Color rose high on Draco’s cheeks. “You’ll be hearing from my advocate,” he seethed, and stalked out of the Ministry in a swirl of light grey robes and an aura of dangerous static. Hermione watched him leave with a cool, delicately satisfied expression. Harry joined her. 

“I didn’t know you were still here.” 

“I’ve stayed late every day for the past two weeks,” she said, scooping his Invisibility Cloak off her chair and holding it out to him. 

He took it, gaping at her. “I thought Ron had this.” 

“He didn’t.” 

Harry gave her a deadpan look. “What was all this about?” 

“He hasn’t spoken to me in over a month,” she said quietly, eyes softening, as if that explained things. Upon further consideration, he supposed it did. Draco apparently had not been bluffing after his and Hermione’s accidental Tinder date had come to such a catastrophic - and dramatic - conclusion. 

“And you think a rival patent is the best way to get him to start?” 

“Desperate times,” she said with a shrug. 

Harry rubbed the cloak’s fabric between his fingers and looked down the now empty hallway. Just how desperate was she? 

~*~*~

The door to Quality Quidditch Supplies jingled merrily as it opened, but the real warning, Harry thought, was the imperious shout which immediately followed. 

“Potter!” 

Harry dropped the gloves he was inspecting. “Don’t look,” he whispered to Ginny who, predictably, turned to look. “Fine, you’re on your own,” he muttered, dashing into a tall rack of practice robes. He had just finished arranging the hangers in a way that provided maximum camouflage when Draco’s platinum hair bobbed into view. 

“Where’s Potter?” he asked, looking around. “I swear I just saw him.” 

“Had to use the loo. Might be a while,” Ginny said casually. 

Draco gave her an ill look, and Harry darted his hand from the robe rack to pinch her smartly on the rear. She started, but disguised the sudden movement by shifting her weight. 

“Well, when he comes out, tell him to call her off.” He lifted up his Two-Way in illustration. Ginny plucked it from his hand before he could leave. 

“Oh,” she said with a smile, eyes darting over the screen. “You’re Bumbling now?” 

Draco’s cheeks took on a light pink blush. He snatched the device back. “For market research purposes only,” he assured her from between clenched teeth, “and a fat lot of good it’s done. She’s the only one who ever shows up, and she’s been swiping right on my profile every day for two weeks.” 

“Have you swiped her back?” 

“ _No_ ,” he answered. “After that Tinder debacle, I’ve sworn off Two-Way dating.” 

“Well, that’s just silly,” Ginny said, subtly moving to stand beside him. “One bad experience shouldn’t ruin the entire medium.” She looked over his shoulder and, as swiftly as a striking snake, swiped right on Hermione’s open profile. 

Draco made a strangled sort of noise, and Harry had to bite his cheeks to keep from laughing. 

“There!” Ginny said, looking quite smug as Draco stared at the screen in horror. 

“What did you do?” 

“Opened the lines of communication,” she answered, tossing her hair. “Now Hermione can message you for the next twenty-four hours. Or until you block her.” 

“Block,” Draco said immediately, fingers tapping furiously at the glass. “Block. _Block_!” He shoved the device at her. “Where’s the block?” 

Ginny took the modified mirror and swiped through a few menus. “Hm, she seems to have removed that option. Weird.” She handed the Two-Way back. 

“Weasley…” 

“I don’t run the app,” Ginny said, brown eyes wide with faux innocence. “If you don’t want to talk to her, then uninstall it. But she’ll just find another way to get to you.” 

“I’m being stalked,” Draco said with a groan. 

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Oh, stop it. We all know you’re just doing it to get a rise out of her.” 

As if on cue, Draco’s phone chirped. He tapped the message open and paled, swaying where he stood. 

“Sweet mother of Merlin…” 

“What?” Ginny grabbed the Two-Way, looked briefly at the message, and handed it back with a snicker. “I have the same one in red.” 

Draco’s eyes bugged as he looked at her, and when his Two-Way chirped again, his jaw fell open. Dazed, he navigated back through the store with his eyes glued to the Two-Way screen, upending a display of practice Snitches along the way. 

“Didn’t even say goodbye,” Ginny remarked absently to the rack of robes behind her. “So rude.” 

Harry parted the clothes and ducked beneath the rack. “What do you have in red?” he asked, trailing his fingers along her hip in the way he knew she liked. 

“A surprise for later,” she said, taking his arm and planting a kiss on his cheek. “If you’re good.” 

~*~*~

Harry reclined on his sofa, enjoying an ale and the quiet of a Saturday afternoon. Mid-sip, three knocks sounded on his door. 

“Potter?” 

Harry choked mid-swallow and stared at the door, aghast. 

“I know you’re in there. I heard you splutter.” 

He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and set his glass down on the side table. He hadn’t imagined it, then: Draco was at his doorstep. And aside from the obvious abnormality of a mid-afternoon visit from him, of all people, there was something else _off_ about the visit that he couldn’t quite place. Harry opened the door slowly. 

“Hi?” 

“Potter!” Draco greeted him brightly, and shoved a large bouquet of yellow, blue, and purple flowers at his chest. Harry looked down at them, uncomprehending. 

“What’re these for?” 

“Your exponentially better half.” Draco shook the bouquet lightly, and Harry accepted it with numb hands. 

Draco nodded once and turned away with a jaunty step. Harry watched him leave, and he was halfway down the drive when it hit him. 

“Wait - how the hell did you find out where I live?” 

“No time for pointless chatter, Potter,” Draco said with a dismissive wave. “Don’t want to be late!” 

He reached the end of the drive and Disapparated, and Harry was still staring at the spot he had vacated when Ginny appeared. A broad smile lit up her face as she saw the bouquet, and she skipped up their front steps. 

“For me?” She lifted the bouquet from his hands and held it to her nose, inhaling deeply. “They’re beautiful. What’s the occasion?” 

Harry blinked. “Uh, because I love you?” 

Ginny looped her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly on the mouth. 

“You’re setting a precedent, dear,” she murmured against his lips, “and I like it.” 

She moved past him into their small home, and he closed the door behind them, following her into the kitchen. 

“How was lunch in Diagon?” 

“It was great.” She dropped the flowers into a vase. “We went to Gladrags and Hermione bought a new dress. I’ll give you three guesses as to who she’s meeting tonight for dinner and drinks.” 

Her mouth curled into a playful smirk, and Harry breathed a laugh. 

“I think I’ll only need one.” 

**The End**


End file.
